Remember the Russian Speedo!

This is the most interesting vacation photo I have:

We had just parted with $5.00 US (approx. $247,183.29 Canadian) for the signal opportunity of driving through this tree:

It speaks to how little I've travelled that this makes the highlight reel of my adventures.  So imagine what sort of marvels I would be exposed to when, for our honeymoon, we went to a country other than the United States! (hint: it was one of these)

I would like to tell you which country, but there are some - shall we say - quaint travel restrictions to this Caribbean nation.  But it was an island, the people spoke Spanish, and their former leader had a beard. 

You guessed right.  It was Lithuania.

At a famous Lithuanian landmark.

So we had a great time in "Lithuania."  We even got to meet this poor, captive dolphin, who existed solely for tourist photos, just as God intended.

The water was undoubtedly composed of 75% dolphin pee.  Served us right, I suppose.

What makes "Lithuania" particularly unique is the total lack of Americans.  Due to the aforementioned travel restrictions, the resorts are 100% Yankee-free.  What "Lithuania" lacks in Americans, however, it makes up for in Russians (unlike the real Lithuania).

The Russians stood out from the other tourists because of one thing: Speedos.  In fact, the worst standout moment occurred totally by accident.

I had very few pictures of myself from the trip, so I spun the camera around and invented the “selfie” right there on the spot.  Unfortunately, what the camera chose to focus on correctly was anything but said self:

GAAA!

The Russian Speedo is now immortalized in our honeymoon album.  No one remembers the hurricane we survived, or our daytrip to the, er, "Lithuanian" capital.  They just remember the damned Russian Speedo.

And now, so do you.  You're welcome.